The Toast Corner Leaver Mystery

Why Do People Leave the Corners of Toast Like It’s a Crime Scene?

You know what’s weird? People who eat toast but leave the corners. Not the whole crust, not the whole edge — just the corners. The four sacred points that give a slice of bread its integrity. Abandoned like tiny crunchy orphans on a breakfast battlefield.

My dad used to do it. Four little triangles of crust sitting there like, “Weren’t we good enough?” And it hit me: this is a thing. I'd notice it in hotels during the family's morning excursion to the dining area. Other people. Grown adults, probably with driving licenses and opinions about politics, who routinely leave the corners of their toast. And nobody’s talked about it.

I couldn't even find an image of the atrocity and had to create my own to add here. It's the final taboo. I felt dirty.

What exactly is happening at the corners that is so orally offensive? Are the corners too pointy for their delicate human mouths.

Because let’s be honest, the corner is just more of what you were already eating. Toast should have a spiky texture else it's just bread. Yuk. Raw toast. If their gossamer tongue has made it through 85% of the slice, what's happening at the corner that makes people go “No, I’ve had enough of this now”?

Is it a texture thing? A psychological thing? A deep ancestral trauma linked to dining experiences past?

Perhaps it's because the spread and topping is mainly distributed from the middle and doesn't reach the corners. But this doesn't make sense, because it rarely reaches the edges either.

A typical breakfast scene in my painting "Teabagging Husband Squeezes out Every Last Drop". Click the image to see prints in my shop.

Or is this all about power?

Maybe that last nibble. That crunchy summit of the bread triangle is the only part with a choice. Maybe leaving it behind says, “I could finish this. But I won’t. Because I am not owned by Mr Mighty White.”

There are people who say the crust is the best part. Like me (but mainly mums trying to control their children). And there are those who cut the crusts off completely, as if they’re preparing an afternoon tea for the Prince of Tiny Sandwiches. 

No. There's only one answer. Their fingers are filthy.

They've sat down for breakfast straight after a morning evacuation without washing their hands, the toast contaminated with particles of last night's supper passed.

So next time you see a plate with four triangular relics on it, don’t be alarmed. You’re simply in the presence of someone who is proud to announce that their hygiene leaves a lot to be desired. 

And never finish their breakfast for them.